The Song in my Head

The very first time I found and heard this song my initial reaction was, “wow, how morbid!”. I found and played it again and listened closely to the lyrics and bam! it hit me! THIS is how everyone should live their lives!!! Ever since my Daddy passed away I have promised to live life to it’s fullest, putting everything I had into each and every single day. Just like my Daddy did. When my time here is over, I want to leave with no regrets, no last minute “I wish I would have…” or ” I should have..” or “why didn’t I ever”. That’s what this song is about! I love Anton with my complete, full heart. He’s on my mind every second of each day. I’m always anticipating coming home to him at the end of the day, hoping he will walk through the door at work just stopping by to say hi because he was missing me, or missing him so intensely, counting each second until we can be together again. I want each one of my moments with him to last just a little bit longer. I do not want to take our time or his love for granted for even a second. Just think what a wonderful world it would be if everyone loved so deeply and thoroughly. Loving each other, with realization that this could be the last time you are with this person. Value each and every precious second you have together. I can see a much happier world full of smiling, extremely giddy and happy people! I know without a doubt that is what my plan is with my life. I will love you Anton, like I’m gonna lose you, kiss you just a little longer, taking in every moment I have with you.

Today was a great day! I was super motivated and focused at work. To do list in hand, checking items off, getting stuff done before I leave on my trip. In the midst of my work, a beautiful vase of flowers are delivered. The card said my name. My mouth fell open. No way, I said…who would send me flowers. I cautiously, slowly opened the card to find the words of the sweetest man I know! I was in complete shock! Ya see…my love is a practical man. He sees such things as flowers being delivered as frivolous, and impractical. They will just die. (Which is the same approach I’ve always had as well) But wow! It sure did feel amazing to be on the receiving end! I could feel his love beaming from that vase. Tears came to my eyes and the biggest smile crossed my lips. Thank you baby, you made my day, and made being without you just a fraction better!

I am woman hear me roar! That was my motto during my work meeting tonight. There are several major issues that needed addressing in a firm and serious matter. And that is my downfall!  But I knew the job had to be done, and I buckled down and got the point across. I was approached by several staff members after the meeting, some asking if I was referring to them, some commenting on how serious and mad I seemed about it, some apologizing for their mistakes and promising to improve. What more could I ask for? Now time to get ready for bed and prepare for my last day at work before I go meet up with my sweet, sweet Anton!!! xoxox

Summer is almost over!

This is the last stretch! The last run! I survived another summer! Whew! Close call though! In 2 1/2 days I will be back in my baby’s arms again! 🙂

I have made sure that I was super busy this weekend with finishing up things at work for the new school  year. I will be busy Monday & Tuesday too, then leave Wednesday morning to meet up with my man! I am so very tired, so tired and exhausted that I can’t sleep! I always think that is so crazy when it happens. But I feel very accomplished! I got a lot done this summer and everything is looking great! Now if only it can stay that way! There is still a few more things to do, but they will get done in time! I realized this weekend while working and thinking, that this is the very first year I have had to do all of this type work by myself…and I did it! (Pats self on back!)

I’m doing well with my diet. I am the lowest weight I have been since I started tracking my weight last September! Yay for me! Bought myself new tennis shoes as a reward! Oh and my lifestyle and tastes truly are changing…. I haven’t ate much this weekend cause I’ve been working so much, so today I was starving at lunch time and went and got a fast food hamburger and fries…I was so excited and couldn’t wait for that first bite…and ya know what? It really didn’t taste that great at all! I honestly think I would have rather had a good salad! What???!!!! Me? The fast food queen!?! What is going on!? 😉

I’ve been sad today though. It happens when he is away! My mind takes off and comes up with all kinds of wild ideas. And especially these last few trips with me being so busy and not having much time to spend chatting with him. Makes it much harder. Sigh…and now I’m home …..ready to chat ….and he’s having chicken tenders with the boys! Similar to last night when he was excited and all ready to chat and I had to go to sleep!

My kid can always seem to surprise me and always seems to know just what I need to hear! Today he came to help me at work when I asked, without a second of hesitation or argument, and when he saw all the work I had done he was so very complimentary! It made me smile, like really big! “Wow Mom this looks great! The kids will love it!” He can be such a sweetie!

Hmmm….how long does it take one to eat chicken tenders??? Going on 2 hrs now …. 😦  On a more positive note…I am beating his ex-girlfriend in a scrabble game 😉 Yay Me!

There is plenty I could be doing….the house needs a good cleaning again…laundry needs to be done….I have to pack for my trip….work that I could be doing. Hmm….which one shall I do?? Or maybe a nice, long, hot bath….ohhhh with wine..there’s still a bottle of wine in the fridge….that would hit the spot right now! Bath time! xoxo