A Better Place

I love this song!! It so describes my life! To sit and really look at my life and all of the changes I have made in the last 4 years….it is quite amazing! And yes, it is a much better place! Of course Anton has a great deal to do with these changes and my transformation, but it started even before we met. When we met in 2014, I was not the same person I was in 2012! (And it’s a good thing I wasn’t….he would have despised that woman!) I feel like I was as close to my rock bottom as I have ever been and ever hope to be again. I was being treated for anxiety and depression, had a controlling best friend/business partner that took complete advantage of me, my family had moved away, and I felt trapped in a loveless marriage. I wanted so much, yet so little. I wanted to feel accepted and loved. That didn’t seem like too much to wish for. I knew I was weak, and I did not want to be any longer. I began fighting and would fight those bad feelings off everyday. I was beginning to learn that I really did not know who I was, but I knew I needed to find out!  I found myself a support system and fought back hard. I ended the friendship and business deal. I took complete control of the business with a solid determination in being successful whatever it took. Free from her grasp, I was able to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and begin seeing who I really was and what I wanted. The marriage ended and I began seeking the attention I was so desperately in need of. Needless to say, I seemed to always look in all the wrong places! It was a difficult time. I had no problem finding the attention, deciphering it was the tricky part. I still did not have the happiness I was craving. I was free but wanted more than just attention. I used to always say what I wanted did not exist. I wanted the fairy tale, the movie plot, the romance novel…..the seeing each other for the first time across a crowded room and instantly knowing they were the one. Of course I never found that! But…wow!! I found SO MUCH MORE!!! Although we met in unconventional ways and there were complicated circumstances involved….we still managed to find each other and the spark, the chemistry, the twin flame or whatever you may call it was definitely there! The last 2 years have been incredible. Some days it all still seems to good to be true. I expect to wake up and still be that pitiful girl from 4 years ago. I am no longer the same person, so much about myself has changed. For the better! I love life and my world is such  a better place. Partly due to the changes I made in myself and my life, but also a huge part due to the wonderful gift of love i receive each and every day. My world is such a better place since you came along Anton! Even when we are not together I can still feel your love for me and I hope you feel mine there with you as well.

Now off to get some work done! Hope you enjoy Frank!….you seem to be the only one reading! 🙂

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s