Our last time apart for the summer is almost over. I miss the most simplest things about him. As he told me the other day when I was at work, “If I was home we would not be together right now, you would be working and I would be at home.” This is true, but it is still a different feeling to miss him while I am at work during the day, knowing as soon as I leave work we will be together. He would have to admit the feeling is different for him too. Missing me while I am working is short lived. At the end of the day I come home and we are together. Knowing that is not the case is the hard part. Knowing that after a hard, long, stressful day of work that I don’t get to walk in the door and see his smiling face, makes my days seem even longer, harder and more stressful. Knowing that when something really good, or something not so good happens, that I will not be able to have our normal talking through the day session that night after work makes the really good things seem not so great and the not so good things seem pretty awful. He calls me his light. I’ve often joked that he is my light. I shine because of his love for me. When he is away it is much harder to shine. My light fades as I crave his light in my life. I feel small, and somewhat lost in the big world around me. The preference is that we always be together. Life works much better this way. I need him holding my hand walking through day to day life with me. The world continues rotating while we are apart, but in my mind it does not rotate quite as smoothly as normal, I imagine it has somewhat of a wobble to it’s spin when we are apart. So, until things spin smoothly again, I will do my best to make it through the next 2 days!
I guess you could say I survived another summer. I still have to get through this last week! I knew this one would be hard! We had a fabulous 10 day vacation together, followed by a week at home, then a weekend with my family. Now it is all over and he is gone. All quiet again. No dings from the phone, no answered texts, no laughing, no talking. All the world is quiet! Lots of work to do this week. Lots of working overtime. I’m ready to get lost in the whirlwind and hustle and bustle! Then have the week end and everything be right in my world once again.