The Song in my Head

The very first time I found and heard this song my initial reaction was, “wow, how morbid!”. I found and played it again and listened closely to the lyrics and bam! it hit me! THIS is how everyone should live their lives!!! Ever since my Daddy passed away I have promised to live life to it’s fullest, putting everything I had into each and every single day. Just like my Daddy did. When my time here is over, I want to leave with no regrets, no last minute “I wish I would have…” or ” I should have..” or “why didn’t I ever”. That’s what this song is about! I love Anton with my complete, full heart. He’s on my mind every second of each day. I’m always anticipating coming home to him at the end of the day, hoping he will walk through the door at work just stopping by to say hi because he was missing me, or missing him so intensely, counting each second until we can be together again. I want each one of my moments with him to last just a little bit longer. I do not want to take our time or his love for granted for even a second. Just think what a wonderful world it would be if everyone loved so deeply and thoroughly. Loving each other, with realization that this could be the last time you are with this person. Value each and every precious second you have together. I can see a much happier world full of smiling, extremely giddy and happy people! I know without a doubt that is what my plan is with my life. I will love you Anton, like I’m gonna lose you, kiss you just a little longer, taking in every moment I have with you.

Today was a great day! I was super motivated and focused at work. To do list in hand, checking items off, getting stuff done before I leave on my trip. In the midst of my work, a beautiful vase of flowers are delivered. The card said my name. My mouth fell open. No way, I said…who would send me flowers. I cautiously, slowly opened the card to find the words of the sweetest man I know! I was in complete shock! Ya see…my love is a practical man. He sees such things as flowers being delivered as frivolous, and impractical. They will just die. (Which is the same approach I’ve always had as well) But wow! It sure did feel amazing to be on the receiving end! I could feel his love beaming from that vase. Tears came to my eyes and the biggest smile crossed my lips. Thank you baby, you made my day, and made being without you just a fraction better!

I am woman hear me roar! That was my motto during my work meeting tonight. There are several major issues that needed addressing in a firm and serious matter. And that is my downfall!  But I knew the job had to be done, and I buckled down and got the point across. I was approached by several staff members after the meeting, some asking if I was referring to them, some commenting on how serious and mad I seemed about it, some apologizing for their mistakes and promising to improve. What more could I ask for? Now time to get ready for bed and prepare for my last day at work before I go meet up with my sweet, sweet Anton!!! xoxox

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