Random Thoughts

Just realized I forgot to title my  last entry..I’ll have to fix that! Today was a good day, busy. Lots of work to do. I was very tired today and not quite sure why. I had plenty of great sleep last night, but was very unmotivated and sluggish. But I made it through! Came home this evening and took a nap. Felt so good. Then woke up and rushed to get my bags packed and the apartment somewhat neat and clean. I leave in the morning to go to Mom’s. She called tonight…very excited! She’s always said I’m her fun child, the one who can make her laugh no matter what her mood. That’s a big job on my shoulders. Especially through the past events with Dad. There were times I wasn’t able to be the family clown, I secluded inside myself and was very quiet (unusual for me) and it almost made me feel as if I was letting her down. She asks for so very little. Her spirits were much better tonight (not sure if it was b/c she was into the spirits though lol) My bro-in-law had came by earlier and fixed some things for her. She was pleased. I’m glad to hear an upbeat tone from her!

Work was a little drama filled, one staff that tends to take things over the crazy edge every now and then. Took a small tiny incident and turned it into a huge mountain of a moe hill. But all is handled now.

I follow Anton’s work on several media sites, lots of pics are posted throughout the day. I like knowing what he’s doing and what is going on. But looking at the beautiful scenery and all the activity really makes me miss the whole atmosphere. I wanna go back! I want to be with him and share this passion of his each and everyday! By his side is where I belong!

I’m still working on my “being more judge-mental of self than others” I can’t wait to be able to lay in bed with my man and discuss it and explore what is judge-mental and what is not. I love our snuggling times together. We talk about everything and could lay there like that for an entire weekend and neither of us would mind.

Time for bed now, long drive tomorrow! Only 2 days til I see him! It seems like it has been forever!!!!!

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A Phone Call Saved the Day!

What a day! Super emotional! #1….PMS ….#2…my baby is gone  #3…work drama   #4….lack of sleep   #5…I’m siiiccckkk

Friendship and work ……very, very thin lines. I have made the mistake of crossing that line in the past. I was weak and alone and needing guidance and a confidant. And who else to turn to if not the people I spend all day long with! Wrong Answer. Looking back …I see how wrong it was, and how they took advantage of the situation. I am an open person, I attempt to put up walls but I’m never very successful. So I find it difficult to work closely with another person and not become close with them. But as the boss, it is something I must really work hard on in the future. All leading up to today’s drama. A employee posted an article on facebook about why good employees quit. Of course it was due to poor management! It crossed a line. I take it very personal. It hurt. I don’t want to be the person who says “I can’t believe she did this to me after all I have done for her” I really don’t want to be that person, but it is a hard battle. I hate confrontation. I despise it and avoid it at all cost! Another weakness I must work on. I didn’t approach the staff member with this issue today. For one reason, I was too emotionally charged. I needed time. I also feel as if she is only making herself look bad in other’s eyes. Other staff members were shocked at the post and took on the stance of “what nerve she has” Almost laughing at her and how stupid she made herself look. They all know they have it made at work. They get off anytime they ask, no matter how short notice, the job is somewhat stressful, but is pretty easy. I’m a laid back boss, so not a high stress situation. I’d do anything to help anyone of them. So, of course I take this to heart. Live and learn…

The rest of my day…

I was productive and got lots done! I love days like that! I am preparing for my trip to see my lovely Anton Saturday and gathering work to take with me. I can’t wait to see him! I miss him so very much! I didn’t sleep well again last night! I’m so used to having him beside me…touching me…reaching for me. I have had to stop and ask myself; do I take him for granted when he is here? Do I need these breaks to keep myself from doing that? To make me cherish each and every second with him. I feel like I do that on a regular basis….but on days like this when I want nothing more than to come home after a long day of work and just sit and cuddle with him  I honestly hope I never take that for granted!

We got word at work that our rating will be on Tuesday the 26th…I won’t be there…but my girls are pumped and ready! I have full confidence in them!

How could a day like this end you say??? With a phone call from the sweetest man alive! Thank you baby! Hearing your voice made it all better! Oh, and to top it off….my girl on the Voice didn’t win 😦 2nd place!

That’s all for today!

Hurry home Anton! xoxox