Stressful Day!

I’m in a mood! We will see which direction this goes lol! It’s a sad day….#1 I had to take Anton back to work today after 2 wonderful weeks together! Luckily, I will be joining him in just 1 week! #2 I got another speeding ticket today! :O¬†I managed to make it through most of my driving years and could say “I’ve never gotten a ticket” Until a few years ago….I seem to be trying to catch up for all the years I went ticketless! This time I was clueless! I honestly thought I was doing the correct speed limit! Had cruise set and everything! GrRRR!!!! I was as nervous as could be the rest of the ride home! Had a cop pull out behind me and it tore me to pieces until he finally passed me! #3 I have to go back to work in the morning after 6 days off!!! ūüė¶ and to make it all worse…I am short staffed all week and have tons and tons of work to get done! I went in this evening after hours and did a little bit but couldn’t concentrate well enough to do anything major. #4 I have an issue that has me worrying….I am already doing everything I can do to resolve the issue at the moment, lots of sitting and waiting, which I am not good at! I try keeping it out of my mind since¬† no good can come from the constant worry, but it always seems to creep back up. I feel as if I am in need of a very good cry. One of those ugly face cries. I feel it building up!

On the bright side! We had a wonderful weekend away! We visited my family & Anton’s family. It was an extremely busy, on the go time, but lots of fun! My family proved yet again to be dysfunctional and full of drama! (Uggghh! Thanks guys!) While his family proved to be entertaining, fun, and so easy to be around! I love every second of our time together and I long for it the second we are not together. It’s gonna be a long week! I’m sure I will write more later! xoxo

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Rainy Days & Monday’s always get me down (It’s rainy here!)

I’m sad tonight. I don’t really think I’ve ever really missed someone like I do him .My ex husband used to go out of town. I don’t recall ever truly missing him. I remember feeling ahhhh me time! But never laying in bed longing for him. Missing his touch …noope never. This is almost consuming me. Atleast when I’m at home. At work I can stay busy enough to deal. At home I just sit here ….and cry. That’s silly though. He’s coming back. He hasn’t left me for good. But I just want him here. EVen if that is completely irrational, it is what I want. Part of me wants to get on my knees and beg him to come home and never go back again. I won’t do that though. I haven’t entirely lost my mind…yet. And I’m a morbid-like person..when I’m sad I surround myself with sadness. How sad is that?? I sat here all evening long and watched clips from Grey’s Anatomy.

OK snap out of it…geez! Re-cap of my day:

Busy and productive again. I have everything ready for my absence and everything ready to work on while I’m gone. New girl started today and she did very good. I interviewed a daughter of our music teacher today for a part time position in the fall. I can remember when her mother was pregnant with her..wow I’m old.¬†I think my work drama/tension has fed my sad feelings this week. I feel almost alienate ¬†there. Hopefully things will improve soon. I feel better now. Writing my feelings out really does help! Tomorrow will be better! Super busy day at work then I HAVE to get things done here and pack for my trip!

8:30 p.m. is my favorite time of day!

Today was a rather calm, uneventful day. Lots of time to miss my man! I’m still being extra productive at work preparing for my absence next week. The drama was on the down side today. whew! Hired a new girl that will start tomorrow afternoon. My business is definitely on the way back up! I just hope we can all keep it there! I felt better today! Only had to take Advil once! woo hoo! It’s the little things that excite me! Had 2 good conversations with 2 of my staff members today..feeling good about that! Ya know….I had all these aspirations of all the stuff I was going to get done while he was gone…I haven’t done one thing at home! Maybe next weekend I will get it all done! I can’t wait til he gets home! I don’t remember him being quite this busy or unavailable last year ūüė¶ . The time difference is a killer! When I can talk, he’s sleeping, when I can talk, he’s working …ugh! So that leaves his 5:30, my 8:30 dinner break. Which averages about 5 minutes that we can actually talk! These times are hard I tell ya! Hope they ease up soon!!!

I need my IT guy STAT! I think I accidentally deleted a bunch of files from one of my computer’s at work today. I had tried emailing the files to myself numerous times and it would not work. So I attempted to burn them onto a CD. Well…..I did something…clicked something ….and …..POOF GONE! I went to the recycle¬† bin and restored the folder ..whew….but…..can’t find it on the computer now and it’s not in the recycle bin and I ran a search and nothing! Oh well….I should have plenty of time next week to re-type everything! I really do miss my IT guy…resetting your own router is hard work!

My mind can sometimes go crazy while he’s away. All these crazy thoughts start slipping in. We just need to be together. Plain and simple! The End!

lol…I’ve deleted this blog twice now….click..click..click…thank goodness for “restore”!!!

Day 1 = 5 minutes :(

Well ….it’s here…..he left early yesterday morning. He was on and off flights all day long…staggered texts here and there….but it felt good. I felt good about it, thought I had a handle on it this year. Today….not so much. He slept all morning my time (there’s a 3 hr time difference now) then worked all afternoon and night. Very little texting today and a quick 5 min chat during his break. This is the part that is always so hard. I went from being #1, his main priority, having all of his time, to plummeting to the bottom of the list overnight. And I’m sick, and I don’t feel good. I was prepared, I knew this is how things would be. Soon as I’m done with my 5 minute pity party I’ll pull up my big girl panties and get over it. Plenty to do to keep me busy.

Re-cap of my day:

Hmm…let’s see….I couldn’t sleep last night because my bed was way too empty (pity party continues), so I’ve been awake since 4 am. Work was very busy…had to cover for someone’s day off. Which means doing their job and mine too! Had an interview this morning. I liked the girl, however, she is a college student, so summer only employment and breaks when she is home. I have another interview tomorrow I’m waiting to see how it goes before I make a final decision. Only need to hire one.

Had to correct¬†3 staff members today, that is never fun! One of my biggest weaknesses! But I did it! 2 for not following proper procedures and 1 for correcting her tone and way she talks. Ha….then had a call from a customer….the bank was holding their check because it wasn’t signed! Should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to slip that one by!

2:00 p.m. was called by the School Nurse saying my son had fallen while playing football during 2nd period (a long way before 2:00) and he had just now came to the office stating he was in pain. He also told the nurse he had blacked out for a few seconds after he fell. He can be a bit melodramatic at times. I talked to him on the phone and he assured me he was fine. So he stayed in school.

I left work around 4:30 and went straight to the doctor’s office. I have had terrible head pains for the last week. I’ve never had trouble with allergies or sinus problems, but I was diagnosed with a sinus infection. And wow! what pain! My whole face hurts! And the Dr. said I was running a fever (I felt o.k. before I knew that…did she have to tell me?!?) Went to the pharmacy and had my meds filled. Some strange guy kept following me up and down all the aisles while I waited. It was obvious and I was starting to get freaked. So I eventually went and set down and waited. Never saw him again.

Had to go to Sam’s to get supplies for work and went to eat with my son ( I had a salad :)) Then came home and played the new computer game I treated myself to just waiting for 8:30 to get here. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this this year. It¬† was supposed to be better. There’s always tomorrow…

3 Weeks = 21 Days = 504 hours = 30,240 minutes = 1,814,400 seconds……

We’ve known this time was coming. It comes every summer. He has to go away for work for days/weeks at a time. First trip this year is …..yea you guessed it…3 weeks. Longer than any of the trips last year. He’s working during this time, super focused, busy doing what he loves…living out his passion. It’s a good thing. A part of him I would never want to change or take away. I support him in this and want him to teach excellence to all that will listen and learn from him.

Last years trips were very difficult on us both. We were still brand new. Still working out all of our kinks and learning new things about each other everyday. He found it very hard to focus on his work, he was overwhelmed by how much and intensely he missed me. I attempted to stay focused on work and tasks that needed to be complete….but it was so very hard. Lots of tears, were shed, so many “I miss you”‘s were spoken and typed. We knew we just had to be together. Maybe in a weak moment or two there was a “never again” muttered only to be followed by a vow to never ask or expect¬†him to quit. Then those few last minute flights across the country for a short visit when we just couldn’t stand it any longer.

I’ve wondered all year how different this year would be. From one side, we are more secure and set in our relationship now. We are both confident that we are in this for the long run. We should be able to handle an absence with no changes occurring. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. On the other side..we are used to being together everyday now. He didn’t move in until the end of last summer’s tour. We spend every possible moment we can together. He is my very best friend, my sounding board, my venting post, the only true, complete love I have ever felt on this level.

Yes, I do realize I sound like a spoiled brat who is used to getting her way. I am very grateful that I have this amazing man in y life and that I am lucky enough to wake up beside him almost every morning. I have no doubt  we will survive this summer and many more to follow. The excitement of the adventures to come are tempting a change in my mood. Everything wil work itself out and all will be fine. The 3 weeks will be over and done before we know it. But just for today, I get to be sad and have my pity party for one!!! More to come as the summer tour begins.