A Lonely Weekend

Feeling all alone tonight! My boyfriend Is out of town for work this weekend and it is my son’s week with his Dad. So it’s just me here! I have plenty to do to keep me busy, I always make it a point to plan lots of activities when my bf is away! But for tonight my “to do” list will have to wait….my mind is too full to concentrate on any one chore.

I think I have decided I’m just not meant to have close friends! I’ve tried, it just doesn’t seem to work out properly for me! Each time this happens, I tell myself I’m not going to get that close to anyone else again, gonna build my walls up and keep myself protected. If I don’t let them in then they can’t get close enough to hurt me. Best laid out plans seldom work though. I’m too trusting, too open, too needy and clingy. I always let my guard down way too easily and end up getting stung in the end. It never feels very well in the end. I just don’t understand why people try to be so vindictive and spiteful to others that they supposedly care about? It doesn’t make sense to me. Nothing to do but move on and learn from each experience thrown at you though. So….. time to end this pity party for one and move on!

I wrote about my Dad’s death before…..I’m still dealing with all those emotions on a daily basis. It comes to surface a the oddest times over the most simplest things. I am beginning to see just how death of a close loved one can change people. I thought it was just me, I’ve seen so many changes in myself since Dad passed away. I see things differently now. Sometimes I find it hard to pinpoint what exactly has caused the change. I started seeing my boyfriend right around the time my Dad died, so as a lifetime relationship was ending, a new relationship was just beginning. Both events have caused so many changes in myself. I feel like I am finally beginning to get to know the real me.  I say and do things now that I never would have dared to before. I have confidence and don’t shy away from my ideas. As I mentioned, I thought these were only things I was dealing with until a recent conversation with my Mom about my sister. It seems she is making a lot of changes in her life as well. Changing jobs after 20 plus years is one of her biggest change. Her philosophy is now that life is too short. How great is that? We both feel that now. I’m sure others in our family do as well. What a wonderful lesson we learned from our Dad’s passing. And this is exactly how he lived his life, to the fullest each and every day! I know he’s smiling down on us all, proud that we have taken on his view of life.

On a happier note, the bf has moved all of his stuff here now! The move is finally official! Now let the house hunting begin! I cannot wait to start this next chapter in our journey together! I feel so lucky to have found this amazing man. He is my dream come true. I love sharing every part of my day with him! Time to go ….. a Lifetime movie is calling my name! Until next time…..


Weekend Away!

The weekends always seem so short!!! Especially when they are as busy as this past weekend was for us! We went back to my boyfriend’s hometown to move some more of his belongings here (YAY! 🙂 ) While we were there we were invited to an authentic Japanese dinner by a friend of the family. WOW! The food was out of this world…amazing….delicious!! And so much of it! I even tried sushi for the very first time! Talk about stepping out of one’s box…that is something I would have never tried before. Fortunately the new me is open to new experiences! I have to admit I was a little nervous about trying it! Everyone watching …waiting for my reaction. And it was ….o.k.! I didn’t feel the need to spit any  part of it out! Definitely a win for new experiences! We were also served fried and steamed dumplings for our appetizers. Dinner started with a salad with this awesome Oriental Salad Dressing that I must find for sell somewhere! Then came the miso soup (yesss…just like in the Japanese restaurants!) Then we had a chicken dish with some type of chow mein type noodles and a beef and noodle dish. Both were very good! Just when we thought dinner was over, we were presented with yet another plate full of a variety of food. Shrimp, chicken, salads, steak marinated in ginger, rice…..we ate until we couldn’t move! It was all delicious! The entertainment that went along with our dinner was just as good as the food. A 70 year old Japanese woman telling stories about her life, about her culture and her family. The evening ended with everyone taking turns singing karaoke! Our hostess even sang two beautiful Japanese songs! It was a delightful evening spent with family and friends and I only wish we all lived closer and could have these type of evenings together more often!