Summer is almost over!

This is the last stretch! The last run! I survived another summer! Whew! Close call though! In 2 1/2 days I will be back in my baby’s arms again! 🙂

I have made sure that I was super busy this weekend with finishing up things at work for the new school  year. I will be busy Monday & Tuesday too, then leave Wednesday morning to meet up with my man! I am so very tired, so tired and exhausted that I can’t sleep! I always think that is so crazy when it happens. But I feel very accomplished! I got a lot done this summer and everything is looking great! Now if only it can stay that way! There is still a few more things to do, but they will get done in time! I realized this weekend while working and thinking, that this is the very first year I have had to do all of this type work by myself…and I did it! (Pats self on back!)

I’m doing well with my diet. I am the lowest weight I have been since I started tracking my weight last September! Yay for me! Bought myself new tennis shoes as a reward! Oh and my lifestyle and tastes truly are changing…. I haven’t ate much this weekend cause I’ve been working so much, so today I was starving at lunch time and went and got a fast food hamburger and fries…I was so excited and couldn’t wait for that first bite…and ya know what? It really didn’t taste that great at all! I honestly think I would have rather had a good salad! What???!!!! Me? The fast food queen!?! What is going on!? 😉

I’ve been sad today though. It happens when he is away! My mind takes off and comes up with all kinds of wild ideas. And especially these last few trips with me being so busy and not having much time to spend chatting with him. Makes it much harder. Sigh…and now I’m home …..ready to chat ….and he’s having chicken tenders with the boys! Similar to last night when he was excited and all ready to chat and I had to go to sleep!

My kid can always seem to surprise me and always seems to know just what I need to hear! Today he came to help me at work when I asked, without a second of hesitation or argument, and when he saw all the work I had done he was so very complimentary! It made me smile, like really big! “Wow Mom this looks great! The kids will love it!” He can be such a sweetie!

Hmmm….how long does it take one to eat chicken tenders??? Going on 2 hrs now …. 😦  On a more positive note…I am beating his ex-girlfriend in a scrabble game 😉 Yay Me!

There is plenty I could be doing….the house needs a good cleaning again…laundry needs to be done….I have to pack for my trip….work that I could be doing. Hmm….which one shall I do?? Or maybe a nice, long, hot bath….ohhhh with wine..there’s still a bottle of wine in the fridge….that would hit the spot right now! Bath time! xoxo


Rainy Days & Monday’s always get me down (It’s rainy here!)

I’m sad tonight. I don’t really think I’ve ever really missed someone like I do him .My ex husband used to go out of town. I don’t recall ever truly missing him. I remember feeling ahhhh me time! But never laying in bed longing for him. Missing his touch …noope never. This is almost consuming me. Atleast when I’m at home. At work I can stay busy enough to deal. At home I just sit here ….and cry. That’s silly though. He’s coming back. He hasn’t left me for good. But I just want him here. EVen if that is completely irrational, it is what I want. Part of me wants to get on my knees and beg him to come home and never go back again. I won’t do that though. I haven’t entirely lost my mind…yet. And I’m a morbid-like person..when I’m sad I surround myself with sadness. How sad is that?? I sat here all evening long and watched clips from Grey’s Anatomy.

OK snap out of it…geez! Re-cap of my day:

Busy and productive again. I have everything ready for my absence and everything ready to work on while I’m gone. New girl started today and she did very good. I interviewed a daughter of our music teacher today for a part time position in the fall. I can remember when her mother was pregnant with I’m old. I think my work drama/tension has fed my sad feelings this week. I feel almost alienate  there. Hopefully things will improve soon. I feel better now. Writing my feelings out really does help! Tomorrow will be better! Super busy day at work then I HAVE to get things done here and pack for my trip!

8:30 p.m. is my favorite time of day!

Today was a rather calm, uneventful day. Lots of time to miss my man! I’m still being extra productive at work preparing for my absence next week. The drama was on the down side today. whew! Hired a new girl that will start tomorrow afternoon. My business is definitely on the way back up! I just hope we can all keep it there! I felt better today! Only had to take Advil once! woo hoo! It’s the little things that excite me! Had 2 good conversations with 2 of my staff members today..feeling good about that! Ya know….I had all these aspirations of all the stuff I was going to get done while he was gone…I haven’t done one thing at home! Maybe next weekend I will get it all done! I can’t wait til he gets home! I don’t remember him being quite this busy or unavailable last year 😦 . The time difference is a killer! When I can talk, he’s sleeping, when I can talk, he’s working …ugh! So that leaves his 5:30, my 8:30 dinner break. Which averages about 5 minutes that we can actually talk! These times are hard I tell ya! Hope they ease up soon!!!

I need my IT guy STAT! I think I accidentally deleted a bunch of files from one of my computer’s at work today. I had tried emailing the files to myself numerous times and it would not work. So I attempted to burn them onto a CD. Well…..I did something…clicked something ….and …..POOF GONE! I went to the recycle  bin and restored the folder ..whew….but…..can’t find it on the computer now and it’s not in the recycle bin and I ran a search and nothing! Oh well….I should have plenty of time next week to re-type everything! I really do miss my IT guy…resetting your own router is hard work!

My mind can sometimes go crazy while he’s away. All these crazy thoughts start slipping in. We just need to be together. Plain and simple! The End!

lol…I’ve deleted this blog twice now……thank goodness for “restore”!!!

Day 1 = 5 minutes :(

Well ….it’s here…..he left early yesterday morning. He was on and off flights all day long…staggered texts here and there….but it felt good. I felt good about it, thought I had a handle on it this year. Today….not so much. He slept all morning my time (there’s a 3 hr time difference now) then worked all afternoon and night. Very little texting today and a quick 5 min chat during his break. This is the part that is always so hard. I went from being #1, his main priority, having all of his time, to plummeting to the bottom of the list overnight. And I’m sick, and I don’t feel good. I was prepared, I knew this is how things would be. Soon as I’m done with my 5 minute pity party I’ll pull up my big girl panties and get over it. Plenty to do to keep me busy.

Re-cap of my day:

Hmm…let’s see….I couldn’t sleep last night because my bed was way too empty (pity party continues), so I’ve been awake since 4 am. Work was very busy…had to cover for someone’s day off. Which means doing their job and mine too! Had an interview this morning. I liked the girl, however, she is a college student, so summer only employment and breaks when she is home. I have another interview tomorrow I’m waiting to see how it goes before I make a final decision. Only need to hire one.

Had to correct 3 staff members today, that is never fun! One of my biggest weaknesses! But I did it! 2 for not following proper procedures and 1 for correcting her tone and way she talks. Ha….then had a call from a customer….the bank was holding their check because it wasn’t signed! Should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to slip that one by!

2:00 p.m. was called by the School Nurse saying my son had fallen while playing football during 2nd period (a long way before 2:00) and he had just now came to the office stating he was in pain. He also told the nurse he had blacked out for a few seconds after he fell. He can be a bit melodramatic at times. I talked to him on the phone and he assured me he was fine. So he stayed in school.

I left work around 4:30 and went straight to the doctor’s office. I have had terrible head pains for the last week. I’ve never had trouble with allergies or sinus problems, but I was diagnosed with a sinus infection. And wow! what pain! My whole face hurts! And the Dr. said I was running a fever (I felt o.k. before I knew that…did she have to tell me?!?) Went to the pharmacy and had my meds filled. Some strange guy kept following me up and down all the aisles while I waited. It was obvious and I was starting to get freaked. So I eventually went and set down and waited. Never saw him again.

Had to go to Sam’s to get supplies for work and went to eat with my son ( I had a salad :)) Then came home and played the new computer game I treated myself to just waiting for 8:30 to get here. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this this year. It  was supposed to be better. There’s always tomorrow…

A Lonely Weekend

Feeling all alone tonight! My boyfriend Is out of town for work this weekend and it is my son’s week with his Dad. So it’s just me here! I have plenty to do to keep me busy, I always make it a point to plan lots of activities when my bf is away! But for tonight my “to do” list will have to wait….my mind is too full to concentrate on any one chore.

I think I have decided I’m just not meant to have close friends! I’ve tried, it just doesn’t seem to work out properly for me! Each time this happens, I tell myself I’m not going to get that close to anyone else again, gonna build my walls up and keep myself protected. If I don’t let them in then they can’t get close enough to hurt me. Best laid out plans seldom work though. I’m too trusting, too open, too needy and clingy. I always let my guard down way too easily and end up getting stung in the end. It never feels very well in the end. I just don’t understand why people try to be so vindictive and spiteful to others that they supposedly care about? It doesn’t make sense to me. Nothing to do but move on and learn from each experience thrown at you though. So….. time to end this pity party for one and move on!

I wrote about my Dad’s death before…..I’m still dealing with all those emotions on a daily basis. It comes to surface a the oddest times over the most simplest things. I am beginning to see just how death of a close loved one can change people. I thought it was just me, I’ve seen so many changes in myself since Dad passed away. I see things differently now. Sometimes I find it hard to pinpoint what exactly has caused the change. I started seeing my boyfriend right around the time my Dad died, so as a lifetime relationship was ending, a new relationship was just beginning. Both events have caused so many changes in myself. I feel like I am finally beginning to get to know the real me.  I say and do things now that I never would have dared to before. I have confidence and don’t shy away from my ideas. As I mentioned, I thought these were only things I was dealing with until a recent conversation with my Mom about my sister. It seems she is making a lot of changes in her life as well. Changing jobs after 20 plus years is one of her biggest change. Her philosophy is now that life is too short. How great is that? We both feel that now. I’m sure others in our family do as well. What a wonderful lesson we learned from our Dad’s passing. And this is exactly how he lived his life, to the fullest each and every day! I know he’s smiling down on us all, proud that we have taken on his view of life.

On a happier note, the bf has moved all of his stuff here now! The move is finally official! Now let the house hunting begin! I cannot wait to start this next chapter in our journey together! I feel so lucky to have found this amazing man. He is my dream come true. I love sharing every part of my day with him! Time to go ….. a Lifetime movie is calling my name! Until next time…..