Changes are Coming

A Look at Our Week

Things have certainly not slowed down this week! Between working, hiking/walking and cooking it has been a full week! During our trip to Ollie’s discount store last week, I stared at the kitchen gadget aisle. I just knew there was a kitchen gadget that I needed and had to have. Finally, I found it … a cookie scoop! It was perfect for making our mint chocolate chip cookies for St. Patrick’s Day! But this baking cookies every week deal is killing the diet plan!

My transcription work is continuing to go well. I am becoming faster each day and learning new tricks of the trade along the way. When I owned the preschool my guy built me the most amazing computer program. It proved to be a business saving tool! I loved it dearly and was always so impressed with how much easier he had made my job. Well, now he’s gone and done it again! I know have a computer program to track my transcription work. It even figures up how much I am making per hour with each job I complete. Quite impressive! (And yes, it may just be $9/hr…but let’s not forget, I made that $9/hr in my pajamas! :))

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The dieting scene seems to be at a standstill. May have something to do with the weekly batch of homemade cookies? We are exercising every chance we can! I make goals for myself with small steps on the weight loss journey. This usually works well for me and helps to keep me focused and grounded. I always share my goals with my guy, because that makes me accountable! My current goal is to lose 9 pounds before our NYC trip on April 12th. I had also made the goal this week that we would not go out to eat all week. We worked really hard on that one. We both absolutely love going out to eat. It’s one of our most favorite activities! We made it until Wednesday night when we broke down and headed out to one of our fave places for Nachos. And then it continued Thursday as we were traveling. Oh well, there’s always next week!

Pic 1: Nachos from our fave place in Boone, N.C.

Pic 2 & 3: Peppers! We LOVE them! We eat them with/on everything! Cannot wait to grow our own!

The House Hunting Scene

We took big steps in our house hunting this week! We are in the process of renting a small 2 BR duplex in Mountain City, TN! This is our favorite location of all that we have visited and ideally where we would like to settle. We will not officially move in until Summer, but will use it as a home base when we are in the area until then.  We are currently waiting for everything to become finalized with the rental. Once this is done we will return to the area and begin setting up house!

We also stopped in and spoke with one of our favorite realtors in the area and began discussing the building process and what steps would need to be made first. We now have a list of local contractors that we will be setting meetings up with to review our plans and ideas. We have started looking at land and will be going to check several out once our housing situation is settled. Our house hunt is not over, we will continue searching for  houses, but are preparing ourselves for what may be our next step.  Exciting times! Scary times! Frustrating times! We are feeling it all!

This video was taken on the front porch of our rental house. I am absolutely in love! Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!

Hiking Adventures

We managed to get several short hikes in this week despite the 2 snowfalls we had! The animals are out and about and just as ready for Spring as we are! The green is beginning to show itself from under all of the brown! Sooner or later Spring is gonna happen, I just know it is! We keep check on a Mountain Laurel tree that my guy pulled another fallen tree off of in hopes of saving the beautiful Mountain Laurel. The tree is looking good so far, no blooms yet, but they should be coming soon.

The first pic is of a big black snake that was stretched out right across the hiking trail. Either she was pregnant and soon to deliver, or had just had a large lunch, not sure which. Now of course I could have very easily stepped over Mrs. Snake and went about by way, and I have no doubt she would have been fine with that, or I could have followed my guy as he just skirted right around her, but I needed a little more distance between us. So, I ended up going way uphill and off trail in order to put much as much distance as possible between me and the snake!

The second pic is from one of our hikes when we took the trails that go around the Danville Braves baseball field.

The third pic is 2 deer we saw during one of our hikes. They stood there still for a few minutes before running away. I love watching these animals in their natural habitats! Not too closely though!

The last pic is one of the small waterfalls on the Riverside trail that we walk on frequently. It is one of my favorite trails and has several bridges and small waterfalls.

Traveling Times

Our only traveling this week was to Mountain City, Tn. but it was a beautiful drive! Once we hit Wilkesboro, N.C. the view starts to change and you can see the mountains ahead. On our drive the mountains were beautiful capped with snow. It is a truly breath taking sight. I cannot wait until I get to see it every day!

Cutler and I will be going to Tennessee this coming weekend to see the family for Easter. Time to take more pictures of our kids since they insist on constantly growing! My guy is staying here solo so he can play in his annual Easter gig at a local church.

 

Sappy  Selfies

Here’s one from one of our hikes this week!

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Have a wonderful week! xoxoxo

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Retirement is a Huge Success!

Our Week in Review

We have worked on finding our new routines this week. It is definitely a different world for me and lots to get used to. I have to stop and think about what day of the week it is and you can forget about the actual date. It has been a busy week as well, I thought retirement was a slow-moving time … not around here!

We are up and at ’em by 9 a.m., which means “sleeping in” for me but not so much for my guy. He may begin to miss his days of sleeping past noon. Too much to do around here for sleeping! We both work throughout the morning hours. I am adjusting well with the transcription work I am doing, getting faster and more efficient everyday. I have a set quota of what I need to make each day and was able to meet my goal every day this week.

Our afternoons are spent hiking/walking when weather allows and we are also in the midst of a complete house re-organization. Three bags have already gone to the Goodwill and only two rooms are complete. Time to downsize and minimize before we have to move it all! The main job in the kitchen was spice organization. Spice storage has been a major issue in this apartment. It takes 10-15 minutes of picking up each bottle in the three locations they are stored in to find the one spice needed. My temporary solution is I have them all stored in a clear bucket now on top of the fridge. My new kitchen will have to have a more permanent solution. Our snow day tradition is to work a puzzle as we enjoy the view. We’ve been saving this one for a while now and finally got to finish it this week. We have another puzzle in waiting, but I’ve had enough snow, so hopefully it can hold out until next winter.

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House Hunting News

The house hunt continues on. Very slow-moving at this point. We check the Zillow website daily for all new listings in our preferred areas. We are thinking more each day about the option of buying land and building our own house. Our next step will more than likely involve meeting with a realtor in these area(s) and seeing what our options will be if we do decide to build. Our plans for the weekend are to scour through our house plan books and gain a clear picture of exactly what we want and need this new house to be. Now, any volunteers to oversee the building process for us?

Hiking Adventures

We were able to get outside Thursday and Friday of this week for two small hikes. Well, they seemed pretty big to me though. It felt good to be out in nature again and seeing the changes in the world around us. A little bit of green was beginning to show! Today’s hike seemed to be a never-ending trek uphill. Felt good finally reaching the top though, well, at least until I realized I was going to have to go down and then back up to get to our start point again. But I survived! Even did a little “bush-whacking” on the way back down. I’m so ready for the weather to break and our warm, sunny days to return.

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And what better way to celebrate a nice long hike??? Ice cream is the only way I can think of! And yes it was yummy, small butterscotch sundae for me and dreamsicle astro for my guy with an all beef hot dog on the side. 🙂

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Traveling Times

Our NYC trip is really going to happen! Flights, hotel and Broadway show have been booked. Our days will be filled with seeing all of the sights and maybe a little shopping. I’m very excited and he is too even though he would never admit it. Usually on our trips I have every detail planned out in advance. Especially our food, we plan entire trips around the food situation. I’m not going that route with this trip, allowing more freedom and spontaneity. But we will eat, no worries there. Send suggestions of places not to miss and we will add them to our itinerary. Our trip is set for April 12-16th.

Sappy Selfies

And here’s another sappy selfie to get you through the week! This was on our hike Thursday afternoon on one of the local mountain bike trails.

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Have a great week everyone! xoxoxo

Day One

My new life has begun! Three years ago when I laid out my “three year plan” it seemed so far away in the distance. I didn’t think it would ever arrive. Yet, here we are, three (well two and a half) years later. The sale of my business is complete and my new retired lifestyle began today!

It’s been a strange feeling over the last few days. Very hard to pinpoint and describe just exactly how I’m feeling. My man was out of town the last five days so it’s been just me here dealing with all these new feelings. For 19 years I had a specific purpose to fulfill. I knew each and everyday what my purpose was. Each day brought on it’s own different challenges, but the purpose remained the same. Work. I’ve been known to work entirely too hard and too much and way too many hours. I’ve worked since I was 14 years old. I was raised by two of the hardest workers I’ve ever met. That work ethic was instilled in my sister, brother and myself. I wish the rest of the world had that same experience!  The work ethic is still here, although “retired” I am working from home doing transcription work. Today was my first full day home with no “outside work”. I worked all day long! Between computer work and cleaning and reorganizing and Spring cleaning (yes, I Spring Clean during a snowstorm) and cooking dinner it was a full day! Staying busy is definitely helping settle the mix of feelings I’ve been having.

I began this blog a couple of  years ago to help myself deal with the death of my Dad. Writing the feelings out really did help me to deal with all those emotions. The emotions are still here four years later. The four year anniversary of Dad’s death was last week and my mind just kept going back to that last week four years ago. It seems like yesterday, yet it seems like a lifetime ago. Then the purpose of the blog seemed to shift to dealing with being alone for part of the summer while my guy worked out of town. Those days and weeks are hard! We love being together and when we cannot be we both have a difficult time adjusting! The blog gave me the chance to catch him up on my day to day activities. Now, I think it may be time for the purpose of the blog to shift yet again. Several people have expressed an interest in keeping in touch with our many adventures now that they will not be seeing me on a daily basis. I’m no longer a big fan of Facebook. The drama filled posts turn me away. And we always joke that the Facebook world hates us! Our super, sappy, lovey-dovey posts and selfies everywhere we go, faces aglow, big smiles, always so extremely happy… yeah, it’s sickening! So, to keep from flooding Facebook with our happiness, I will use this blog instead! I will post a link to the blog on Facebook and any who wish to follow our journey may. Others are free to scroll past and never click, and that’s fine!

I’ve been asked several times since an end date for work has been set, what our first big trip is going to be … Well…. We’re going to New York City! I have always wanted to go to NYC. Never been before! Want to go see the sights and say I’ve done it. He on the other hand would much rather prefer going just about anywhere else. The big city excitement does absolutely nothing for him. No mountains, no hiking, pollution, noise, traffic, yeah.. totally not his scene at all. I’ve mentioned going before and he’s always shut it down rather quickly. As things with the business sale began falling into place, one night he looked over at me and said, “So, do you want to go to New York City?” I said, “Well, yeah, always have.” He then announced that we would go as our celebratory trip for selling the business. But his promise came with stipulations. We would not set anything or buy any tickets until the sale was complete. Everything done and then the planning for a long weekend trip would begin. We set our time for sometime in April. And so, the concrete planning will begin tonight! A friend that visits NYC frequently has hooked me up with a perfect agenda! All the sights, Broadway show (I’m leaning towards Phantom, easy tickets to get on such a short notice), and all the excitement that NYC has to offer. I can’t wait! Let the planning begin.

And then there’s reality. The reality of this move we are supposed to be making this summer. To where you ask? Well, yeah, we aren’t really quite sure of that yet! We know the areas we would like to be in. But have had 0 luck finding a house in those areas. We have started tossing around the idea of buying land instead and building our house. That option is both exciting and scary at the same time. Most nights we have a difficult time deciding what to eat for dinner, and in building a house there are major decisions that have to be made, lots of them! It is overwhelming and mind blowing at this point. And well, if you know my man you know he is somewhat of a perfectionist type, and from my experience very little about building a house is considered perfect. We have already decided that if we do end up building, we will rent a house/apartment in the area so that we would be able to report to the job site everyday. He will be there for inspection, I will deliver doughnuts and coffee to act as a buffer for his questioning and scrutiny. We still hold out hope that as the housing market opens up this Spring, we will find the perfect house, already built, in the perfect area. Come on universe…hook a girl up!

Dinner tonight was delicious! Weight loss is a big part of my everyday. I go up and down on a regular basis it seems. I go from eating right and living a healthy lifestyle to going out to eat and eating big every night. It’s a hard ride. But I am confident with my new life that I will finally be able to stay on track once and for all! More time to exercise, more time for meal planning and preparation. And once our move is made, I will be all about growing our own vegetables and canning foods to enjoy throughout the year! I can’t wait! So tonight’s dinner plan was Sweet-n-Sour Turkey Meatballs with peppers & onions over Egg Noodles. So yummy! See picture below! And so easy to make! Just popped meatballs, sugar-free grape jelly, chili sauce and peppers and onions in crock pot and done! IMG_1779[1].JPGThe blog will more than likely include more food pics and hiking pics than anything else lol. I will try to keep the sappy selfies to a minimum though. 😉

Have to go start my snow day puzzle now! More to come later!

xoxoxo ❤

 

No Better You Than The You That You Are…

Song Lyrics I heard on my way home: No better you than the you that you are. I disagree!!!!  The song is intended to build women up, has lines about covergirls being too skinny and not eating, how you are beautiful just the way you are. I get that totally! I’m all for encouraging girls and women to see their own beauty. We all have it! But to fall into the “No better you than the you that you are” would mean there’s no room for improvement. And it is my belief that there is ALWAYS room for improvement in us all! I work daily on making myself a better me. To accept the me that I was yesterday is not good enough. I made mistakes yesterday, there were flaws in my character. I’m going to work hard today to try to lessen those flaws. Then do the same again tomorrow.

This thought process is a lot of what is wrong with the world today! Everyone getting the trophy just for participating, always looking for the reward for doing required tasks, the sense of entitlement. It originates in this type of thought process. I work with young children, and as a part of this job I hire younger workers.  The work ethic of today’s youth is practically non-existent! Everyday I am faced with dealing with this frustration. They are so entitled, so used to having the world handed to them on a silver platter, the mere idea of working for what they want never enters their minds. And why should it??? I struggle with this as a mother. I am definitely a less than perfect mother. I have made many mistakes throughout raising my child. I have to fight the urge to blame all of his shortcomings on his father and wash my hands of it. It is a struggle co-parenting though. And a manipulative child can work that in his best interest. I’m grateful that he has a “pseudo” step-dad that attempts to steer him in the right direction. ❤

The diet is going welll meh! Mexican for dinner tonight. I tried a new dish through with grilled shrimp & scallops trying to stay on the diet. It was meh, my mouth watered peering at my son’s cheesy chicken and rice plate though! The pounds are slowly coming off though! Looking good for my June trip goal! Working on laundry tonight and hoping to mop the kitchen floor! Did a little job hunting today and more house printing for my house hunting notebook! Ready for this week to be over and my week away with my love to begin!

xoxo

Summer Time!

Summer is here again! (not the official season, but school is ending, drum corps is starting, so in my book that equals summer!) Summer means several things for me; 1. My man leaves me again and again throughout the summer to work! (We are deeply in love with each other after waiting our entire lives to find each other.) Our sadness at being apart for even the shortest times can be sickening to some. The Facebook world hates us and our ooey gooey sappy posts & selfies! 2. Time to buckle down with the weight loss plan and fixate on a new goal. As of right now my goal is to lose the 10 pounds I have been playing with for months by the time we go on vacation on June 15. About 1 month, 10 pounds, I got this! 3. It’s usually a very busy season for me with work. A lot of repairs and cleaning and prep work for a new school year.

This year will prove to be quite different I predict. I have had a 3 year plan for the last 2 years. That 3 year plan will be coming to an end very soon! My business is now for sale and the house & job search have begun! When I take the time to truly sit and think about what the next year will hold, all the changes, all the dreams coming true, I can’t help but to smile, really big! It is a super exciting time, although stressful, the excitement outweighs all else. A new city, no clue exactly where just yet. Recommendations will be appreciated! We love mountain views! For the right view and the right house, and the right weather we would go about anywhere! I am on the hunt for a stay at home computer job. Scouring the internet for ideas and suggestions. I updated my resume today and began filling out my first application 🙂 My evenings are now filled with looking through houses and job listings. My mind constantly drifting to the new life ahead, making plans, making lists, ready to go!

Ok. An observation I made today upon reading a Facebook article. Our local high school had their graduation ceremony this past weekend. For the first year the ceremony was held in a different venue than the school (to prevent having to change location due to weather issues). Apparently each graduate was given 7 tickets for their family members to attend. 299 students graduated. On the morning of the event, parents were turned away at the door and not allowed to watch as their children received their diplomas. The fire marshal stated the building was at full occupancy and for safety issues no one else would be permitted inside. I can understand safety issues. But, preventing a parent from watching their child graduate??? This I do not understand! After alllll those years of staying up late ensuring their homework was complete, helping them study for all of those tests and exams, all those drives to and from school, and then miss the one glory moment you’ve waited 18 years for. O.k., now let’s do some math. 299 students were given 7 tickets each (I always hated those word problems in school) which equals 2,093 tickets. Add the 299 graduates to that total for 2,392. The school stated it printed 2,500 tickets. Their were 1,737 seats available in the bleachers and 1,000 chairs available for seating. Total seats available is 2,737, tickets printed 2,500. Therefore, there should have been no issue. It is assumed that people either printed fake tickets or snuck into the ceremony without tickets. Both of those acts are shameful, but the part that really bothers me is this: If you were sitting in this ceremony, it is reported that it started at least 15 minutes late due to traffic issues and lines of people still trying to come inside, I can imagine that news traveled throughout the venue rather quickly that parents were being held outside not allowed to come in. In the modern day of Facebook, I’m sure posts were read instantly from people sitting inside. So, if you were one of these families that either printed fake tickets and/or snuck people in illegally, and had MORE than your allowed 7 family members, and knew there was a mother or a father sitting in the parking lot missing their babies big moment. And you still just sat there? Is that really the world we live in?? Also, even if you were in this ceremony legally. You had a real ticket, you were part of a students 7 allowed family members. You were the aunt, or the cousin, or uncle. And you read on facebook that their is a mother sitting in the parking lot outraged by missing their child’s graduation. And you continue to sit there as an extended family member and take up that precious seat??? I am an Aunt. I cherish my nieces and nephew. I was right there to watch my niece graduate last year. And I will be there next year to watch the youngest niece graduate. I was proud  and wanted to witness the occasion.  But I would like to think if I had the knowledge that a parent was missing out on this opportunity and if I gave up my seat they could watch their child, that I would do it without hesitation. It would be a bummer, no doubt. But, I know my nieces heart, she would want me to give up that spot for someone else. I’m trying hard not to judge. I know extended family members that were at this ceremony and did not give up their seats. Maybe this was not an option. It has been stated that the doors were locked and no one was being allowed inside. Perhaps if someone had given up their seat the process could not have been followed through calmly in deciding who would be allowed inside. Our city has quite the reputation for violence recently, perhaps spectators were fearful to cause more drama by giving up seats. However, in all of the media attention, there is no mention of families attempting to give up their seats and being turned down. Again, I would like to think I would have done the right thing and given up my seat, and hoped that enough people would follow my example to ensure that all parents were able to watch their child. I often have to step back when I hear about situations such as this one and think about how I would have reacted. Going along with the crowd and having the attitude of “I’m not giving up MY seat” can be so easy. But we all know that is not the right thing to do . It is not easy doing the right thing, it is very easy to go along with the majority that do not always do the right thing. I watch people tear each other down on a daily basis. Always quick to find the negative in a person and/or situation. Very rarely do they stop to try to even find a positive. I just think the world would have to be a better place if we took a moment to build one another up instead of constantly tearing each other down. Must be the Hippy 60’s Love Child coming out in me!

That’s all for now! If you are reading this, comment your favorite, mountainous city…I need some moving destinations! Peace ❤

The Song in my Head

The very first time I found and heard this song my initial reaction was, “wow, how morbid!”. I found and played it again and listened closely to the lyrics and bam! it hit me! THIS is how everyone should live their lives!!! Ever since my Daddy passed away I have promised to live life to it’s fullest, putting everything I had into each and every single day. Just like my Daddy did. When my time here is over, I want to leave with no regrets, no last minute “I wish I would have…” or ” I should have..” or “why didn’t I ever”. That’s what this song is about! I love Anton with my complete, full heart. He’s on my mind every second of each day. I’m always anticipating coming home to him at the end of the day, hoping he will walk through the door at work just stopping by to say hi because he was missing me, or missing him so intensely, counting each second until we can be together again. I want each one of my moments with him to last just a little bit longer. I do not want to take our time or his love for granted for even a second. Just think what a wonderful world it would be if everyone loved so deeply and thoroughly. Loving each other, with realization that this could be the last time you are with this person. Value each and every precious second you have together. I can see a much happier world full of smiling, extremely giddy and happy people! I know without a doubt that is what my plan is with my life. I will love you Anton, like I’m gonna lose you, kiss you just a little longer, taking in every moment I have with you.

Today was a great day! I was super motivated and focused at work. To do list in hand, checking items off, getting stuff done before I leave on my trip. In the midst of my work, a beautiful vase of flowers are delivered. The card said my name. My mouth fell open. No way, I said…who would send me flowers. I cautiously, slowly opened the card to find the words of the sweetest man I know! I was in complete shock! Ya see…my love is a practical man. He sees such things as flowers being delivered as frivolous, and impractical. They will just die. (Which is the same approach I’ve always had as well) But wow! It sure did feel amazing to be on the receiving end! I could feel his love beaming from that vase. Tears came to my eyes and the biggest smile crossed my lips. Thank you baby, you made my day, and made being without you just a fraction better!

I am woman hear me roar! That was my motto during my work meeting tonight. There are several major issues that needed addressing in a firm and serious matter. And that is my downfall!  But I knew the job had to be done, and I buckled down and got the point across. I was approached by several staff members after the meeting, some asking if I was referring to them, some commenting on how serious and mad I seemed about it, some apologizing for their mistakes and promising to improve. What more could I ask for? Now time to get ready for bed and prepare for my last day at work before I go meet up with my sweet, sweet Anton!!! xoxox

Summer is almost over!

This is the last stretch! The last run! I survived another summer! Whew! Close call though! In 2 1/2 days I will be back in my baby’s arms again! 🙂

I have made sure that I was super busy this weekend with finishing up things at work for the new school  year. I will be busy Monday & Tuesday too, then leave Wednesday morning to meet up with my man! I am so very tired, so tired and exhausted that I can’t sleep! I always think that is so crazy when it happens. But I feel very accomplished! I got a lot done this summer and everything is looking great! Now if only it can stay that way! There is still a few more things to do, but they will get done in time! I realized this weekend while working and thinking, that this is the very first year I have had to do all of this type work by myself…and I did it! (Pats self on back!)

I’m doing well with my diet. I am the lowest weight I have been since I started tracking my weight last September! Yay for me! Bought myself new tennis shoes as a reward! Oh and my lifestyle and tastes truly are changing…. I haven’t ate much this weekend cause I’ve been working so much, so today I was starving at lunch time and went and got a fast food hamburger and fries…I was so excited and couldn’t wait for that first bite…and ya know what? It really didn’t taste that great at all! I honestly think I would have rather had a good salad! What???!!!! Me? The fast food queen!?! What is going on!? 😉

I’ve been sad today though. It happens when he is away! My mind takes off and comes up with all kinds of wild ideas. And especially these last few trips with me being so busy and not having much time to spend chatting with him. Makes it much harder. Sigh…and now I’m home …..ready to chat ….and he’s having chicken tenders with the boys! Similar to last night when he was excited and all ready to chat and I had to go to sleep!

My kid can always seem to surprise me and always seems to know just what I need to hear! Today he came to help me at work when I asked, without a second of hesitation or argument, and when he saw all the work I had done he was so very complimentary! It made me smile, like really big! “Wow Mom this looks great! The kids will love it!” He can be such a sweetie!

Hmmm….how long does it take one to eat chicken tenders??? Going on 2 hrs now …. 😦  On a more positive note…I am beating his ex-girlfriend in a scrabble game 😉 Yay Me!

There is plenty I could be doing….the house needs a good cleaning again…laundry needs to be done….I have to pack for my trip….work that I could be doing. Hmm….which one shall I do?? Or maybe a nice, long, hot bath….ohhhh with wine..there’s still a bottle of wine in the fridge….that would hit the spot right now! Bath time! xoxo

Home Alone…again!

He’s gone once again! Only for a week this time though. It hasn’t been too terribly awful this time around. I’m super busy at work so that helps. It’s always the home time that it hits me. That’s when I miss him the most.

It’s Father’s Day Weekend…so of course Dad keeps creeping into my mind. I was just thinking about how grateful I am for having a Dad like mine. That taught me so many valuable, important life lessons. And I was thinking that if given the chance I’d give anything for just one more conversation. I’d let him talk as long as he wanted! He loved to laugh and make other people laugh, I’d let him tell me as many jokes as he could remember! But I really have nothing left unsaid with him. He died knowing how loved he was. He knew our feelings, how lucky we felt to have him as our Dad. That’s how my family is…we are open and free with our words. Maybe just a little dysfunctional but we do alright.

So..everyone has read about the shark attacks on a North Carolina beach I am sure. Welp my son is going to that very beach next week with his Dad and his family. I’m really trying very hard not to be THAT Mom that freaks out over the thought of him dipping his toes into that shark infested water. We’ve talked about it, and I really am not worried about it. He isn’t much of an ocean water boy anyway.

My favorite TV show comes back on tonight (Yay!) So that’s a big distraction for me. It only comes on in the summer so I have to wait all year for it to come back on. I have a busy busy weekend planned at work …my hope is I’ll be so tired when I get home I’ll just instantly crash! And wake up on Tuesday when it’s time for him to come home again lol!

I’m back on my diet again. More focused, motivated and dedicated than before! I’ve lost 2.4 lbs this week so far! today’s been a tough day for the diet. I’m hungry and want to cheat so bad! So far, so good though! Hope to at least get somewhat close to my goal weight by the end of August when I have a wedding to go to.

I’ve thought a lot about my friend today. I’ve been under the impression that things were going ok for us lately. We’ve spoken and talked at work each day. Things seemed a little less stressed and tense between us. But she makes a point to make it clear that she has no interest in me anymore. I’m sure she feels it’s the treatment I deserve. She posted several quotes on facebook today that I know were meant for me. My first instinct was to find an even better digging in quote to post on mine. But I stopped myself. That’s not who I want to be any longer. Still working on not judging others ..it’s an everyday struggle! But at least I can say I am more aware of when it happens now.

ok …that’s it for now…more later! Have a great evening!

Random Thoughts

Just realized I forgot to title my  last entry..I’ll have to fix that! Today was a good day, busy. Lots of work to do. I was very tired today and not quite sure why. I had plenty of great sleep last night, but was very unmotivated and sluggish. But I made it through! Came home this evening and took a nap. Felt so good. Then woke up and rushed to get my bags packed and the apartment somewhat neat and clean. I leave in the morning to go to Mom’s. She called tonight…very excited! She’s always said I’m her fun child, the one who can make her laugh no matter what her mood. That’s a big job on my shoulders. Especially through the past events with Dad. There were times I wasn’t able to be the family clown, I secluded inside myself and was very quiet (unusual for me) and it almost made me feel as if I was letting her down. She asks for so very little. Her spirits were much better tonight (not sure if it was b/c she was into the spirits though lol) My bro-in-law had came by earlier and fixed some things for her. She was pleased. I’m glad to hear an upbeat tone from her!

Work was a little drama filled, one staff that tends to take things over the crazy edge every now and then. Took a small tiny incident and turned it into a huge mountain of a moe hill. But all is handled now.

I follow Anton’s work on several media sites, lots of pics are posted throughout the day. I like knowing what he’s doing and what is going on. But looking at the beautiful scenery and all the activity really makes me miss the whole atmosphere. I wanna go back! I want to be with him and share this passion of his each and everyday! By his side is where I belong!

I’m still working on my “being more judge-mental of self than others” I can’t wait to be able to lay in bed with my man and discuss it and explore what is judge-mental and what is not. I love our snuggling times together. We talk about everything and could lay there like that for an entire weekend and neither of us would mind.

Time for bed now, long drive tomorrow! Only 2 days til I see him! It seems like it has been forever!!!!!

Embrace the positive!

2 things have been on my mind today.

First, is my Daddy…have thought of him all week long. Not sure why…maybe because I’m going to Mom’s this weekend. Driving there always brings him to mind, realizing he won’t be there to say “Hey Girlfriend, I’ve been waitin’ on you”, or  thinking of the drives I took when he was sick and in  the hospital and not knowing what I would be facing when I arrived. Maybe it’s the time of year, like I said in a previous post, this was his most favorite time of year, or maybe it’s Father’s Day. Last year when I went to WalMart at this time of year and saw the Father’s Day cards all on display I instantly had tears in my eyes, I put it off as being so close to his death…same reaction this  year though. Maybe it’s because I’ve been worried about Mom and know how badly she is missing him. Not sure of why, but hes’ been right there in the front of my mind all week long. Reliving the memories I will always cherish, feeling the love that will always be there, crying the tears that always manage to come. I am so very thankful that I was chosen to be his daughter. I will always honor him by living my life in the same ways he lived his. Fully and completely.

Number two, is a facebook post from last night:

“Let go of negative people and thoughts. Embrace positive people and those that build you up. Forgive. Be more judge-mental of self than others. .everyone makes mistakes. Have compassion and have fun!!! Life Is too short to regret. Love on purpose. Live on purpose. Be.”

Wow! What mind blowing, thought provoking words! What a way to live! Describes exactly how I want to live my life. Some parts of it I have managed to take on, other parts I am still working on everyday. Be more judge-mental of self than others…I’m going to concentrate on that one for right now. I know I need work on that and it’s a hard one . Passing judgement is so easy to do. I’ve let go of negative people, I do embrace positive people and love being around others that build me up. So  I’m going to try to stop myself and take the time to realize before I pass judgement. Wish me luck!!

P.S. 3 more days! then we are together again!